don’t park yourself there all your life

let’s renovate
and by that I mean let’s make a giant mess
cry and wallow on the floor at all the memories.
take hours, possibly weeks
to actually work up the courage to start somewhere
and clean it up.
don’t just throw it all away,
let’s think this through
and with this thinking will come pain and joy.
pain of what was that isn’t now
and joy of what was and isn’t now.

the insides and tunnels of our hearts and lives
are a scary, magical, terrifyingly beautiful place to be
but don’t park yourself there all your life.
you’ll need to get up and move
and see how others live.
go see and learn the childhoods that were not yours.
go see their scars and see what they mean.
it’ll take some time
and maybe some won’t ever explain it
or show you any of those internal bruises
but there might be a small handful,
or maybe only a few
or maybe only one
who will be brave enough to lay all their cards out on the table?
it will probably takes weeks, months, years
of building up trust and slowly giving a gift of thought to the other.
you’ll start peeling the layers away
and one might be a parfait and one might be an onion
but we’ve all got layers
and they can be ugly and beautiful all at the same time
be one of the brave ones and take a trip through your own tunnels
see the gunk and remember why it’s there.
then scrub away the bad and remember the lessons learned,
the skinned knees, and the belly-aching, falling off your chair laughter
that reminds you why we’re human
11.5.15
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