Memorandum

TO: BOYS TRYING TO BE MEN

FROM: A GIRL IN THE CORNER

DATE: JANUARY 4, 2016

For all you boys that are desperately trying to be men but are still not sure how to get there (it doesn’t matter your age). We applaud your efforts but ask that you stop trying so damn hard and use your brain instead. Maybe even your brain is telling you one thing, your heart another, and your d*** another. We get it. It’s confusing to be a “man” in this 21st century world where the women are free spirits and take care of themselves. Where and when are you needed? Do these women even need a knight in shining armor? When do you make your move? Etcetera.

We understand that you are making strides and you can wear pink now (if you want). You can make the money, bring home the bacon, cook it, and feed your family. It’s great. We’ve all done so much and made so much progress.

There’s just one catch.
You are still chicken shit.

It happens. We are all a little scared at times. We are all humans. That’s our binding connection that cannot be broken. We break apart when we try to be something we are not.

I understand that you’re not sure what to do or how to ask.
But here’s the kicker: don’t be chicken shit and wait until you’re inebriated, intoxicated, or heavily sedated to make a move or tell her you like or love her.

Rejection sucks. Men (or boys) experience this way more (romantically) then girls do because they are the ones expected to make the move and take the initiative. But this is the 21st century and some girls ask the guys out. So we understand at least a fraction of it. We also understand rejection in many other arenas (hair, make-up, body image, the list goes on).

Rejection is a b****. There is no way around it. But if you wait until your “guard” is down because of some substance, this is not impressive. You have now insulted her. You have now said that she is not worth growing a pair, swallowing your pride, and asking her sober. You have now told her that she is not worth much since you only had to throw back a few to talk to her.

If you want to be impressive (and get the damn girl) then be brave and be sober when you confess your love to her.

Thank you for your time.

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