sea legs

with the wolves at her feet
and the fireflies dancing around her eyes
she felt trapped and blinded.
confusion swirled and swayed her.
she laughed and cried
within the day.
night fell and the winds came in.
she was blown over
and her mind toppled.
the moon glowed yellow
and seemed to smirk.
all they ever wanted was in the backseat
of someone else’s car.
it was a lie and a game.
she wasn’t losing
but she wasn’t winning either.
bruises and scars
ignorance and trust
felt like fear and hate at the moment.
lies swirled and tried to drown her.
so she let go
and chose to drown herself
before anyone else did.
no right answers
but a whole lot of wrong ones
that had teeth and thorns
and kept getting stuck.
do we just repeat the past
trying so hard to run from it?
“head up”
“chin up solider”
but this fight was all consuming
and she had no more left to give
lies and disbelief suspended in reality

swimming in circles in this fish bowl
let’s find the exit
let’s find our sea legs and jump

1.31.16

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