sleep sweet princess

she can taste forever in your kiss.
white picket fences and four solid walls.
it’s an image that flashes from time to time
but never felt safe.
but if you don’t kiss her
and you won’t look at her,
then her safe is gone.
if you won’t let her hear your heartbeat
and hear your smile when you talk,
then where does she rest?
if she gives you forever
and then you wall yourself up,
what does she do?
does she make other plans?
does she pick up the pieces?
it’s hard not to start the clean up
as a mechanism for making it through.
“if he doesn’t want me,
then I didn’t want him anyway,”
Snow White says to her empty household.
she pretends she wanted to do it all
and not need anyone.
but the truth of the story
is that she’s too afraid to show the cracks in her smile.
if she continues on like a busy bee,
then they’ll all think she’s fine
and this is what she wanted all along.
it’s easy to take what you’re given
and pretend it’s the only thing you wanted in the first place.

fight?
big scary words,
mean face.
be the kid that’s the grown up.
be the one who’s heart is just fine beating on it’s own.
no needs.
no wants.
content.

the silence is becoming deafening.
“does she have a pulse?
is she breathing?”
does it matter?
“she’s fine.
she’s always been fine.
no one needs to check on her.”

the clock ticks madly on
but the temperature in the room drops,
the air becomes cool,
her skin becomes ice
and she slowly goes to sleep.
there’s no problems when you’re asleep.
there’s no questions
or rejection.
there’s no mistakes
and no fears.

sleep sweet princess,
it’s all you’re good for.

10.20.16

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