courage, dear soul

if we come into this world
from gut-wrenching pain,
covered in blood and guts,
is that how we go through this life
for the rest of our days?
we don’t have a hand to hold
until we make it through the pain.
should we expect the same
through the rainy days?
is there a reason to open our mouths
and speak our truths,
even if they shatter the glass where we stand?
can we shatter the walls we’ve built
brick by brick
with heartaches and mistakes?
can we pack up that guilt
and send it packing?
can we ever make it through the woods
of mysteries and sad lies
that resonate and stick to the soul
with super glue?
is there a way to break the molds
and build better robots with the pieces?
should you buff out that scarlet letter
or make a fashion statement out of it?
if you’ve etched that line
from A to B in your skin,
can you expect anyone to expect you
to jut over to point Q?

how long does it take to retrain
that battered puppy new lessons?
how many steps to the next sinkhole?
can you guess the pattern this time around
before the quicksand grips at your ankles?
if shaky yes’s are still yes’s,
what is a silent internal scream?
is that a no that no one knows?
how do you expect to fly that kite
if you’re holding the scissors at the string?

what are they good for anyways?
“sit there, look pretty, keep quiet”
“yes, good girl”

rip off the duct tape
and unstitch those wounds.
let it bleed.
show your colors.
do you bleed red too?
don’t we all bleed red
when the sun goes down?
then why do we carry pitch forks
and hide a gun under the pillow?
who are you waiting for?
who’s coming just around the corner?
are you waiting to fight your inner demons
Or just the shadows?

let’s dance on their graves,
the graves of our past selves.
maybe we don’t win the fight
or even this battle.
maybe we rest our heads
and wait for the sun to come up again.
courage is the act of getting up another day
to fight to live another day.

courage, dear soul.
courage.

4.22.16

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variables dance

if the faucet is leaking
but you ignore it,
have you fixed the problem?
if you hold your breath,
with hope,
you’ll pass out.
simple truths that make all the sense in the world,
except your own.
take yourself out of the equation
and the variables dance with each other
gracefully.
reinsert yourself
and you’ll hear the numbers
thud and collide with one another.
break a sweat
but try not to break your arm in the process,
you’re going to need that.
don’t forget to bring your heart with you.
pack it in bubble wrap and stick it in a suitcase.
it’ll make it along the way somehow.
a few bruises later
and some duct tape will keep it in one piece.
grab a jar of dirt
and let it ground you.
pack it all up,
hide the key
and try to escape.
let’s see where this path leads.
the sun won’t reach your features
if you stay indoors,
you won’t get burned
but is that the price you want to pay the witch doctor?
is it worth it?
unscathed and in one piece?
character flaws, pot holes, and scars
all make great stories

03.14.16

will you join in?

the heart and soul of it
is that he doesn’t know.
they don’t know.
we don’t know.
we’re all searching for the bigger picture
but we have our eyes closed.
are we telepathically finding the answers
or following the crowd
but hiding in our sorrows?
it’s 4am and everyone is asleep,
while the moon converses with the trees.
their thoughts resonate in the breeze
we rise in the morning
and they go back to the background.
the stage is set,
the curtain of light drops
and the unknowns come out to play.
they’ll dance without an audience.
they need no applause,
just for you to breathe out
and they’ll go on
keeping on
with or without you.

will you join in?
can you join in the symphony without a song?
let the thoughts float through you
and around you.
absorb, interpret, and re-imagine

11.19.15

back of your eyes

in a world full of zombies, apocalypse, superheroes, villains, and rain storms
what takes your breath away?
what scares the shit out of you
to the point you either run from it
or straight into the chaos?
what shakes your core or brings peace to your inner turmoil?
is it a person, place, or thing?
or rather a verb or action?
do you wrestle with your demons and win the trophy
or go down in flames trying?
is it enough to fail in a blaze of attempts?
do you win in the losing or learn in the bottom of it all?
do your defaults and “normal” settings match up with anyone else?
do they need to?
is there a reason to wait
or to renew the old?
can you rewrite the negatives
in the camera lens of the back of your eyes?
can we refile that memory and try again?
with mistakes swirling like in a bee hive,
can you even find the center sweet honey?
if love and lust begin with the same letter,
does that mean they being in the same way
but end on two separate constructs?
if we create and destroy our world with our words,
I think we should shut up for a moment or two.
if it burns and leaves a mark
but you smile,
did it even happen?
permanent reminders of things you forgot,
from the day before,
do these solve anything or only add to it?
if it’s a lie but you believe it,
does it become your truth?

2.17.16

happy new year

get on your soap box and decide
decide to make this next year great.
it is a choice
and a decision,
so make it.

quit settling for some bullshit excuse of love.
if you’re not in love
or you’re in love and unhappy
then end it.
have the guts to be alone
and find something better.

quit your bitching and do something about it.
if you don’t like where you live,
you are not a tree,
pick up your roots and move.

don’t think that this has to be the life you fell into.
if you like this watering hole,
then stay
but if not
then keep on keeping on
to the next town.

quit making the excuses
get your ass off the couch
and go win that medal.

there is so much life has to offer.
be chicken shit for a hot second,
then leap into the unknown.
if you fall, just get up again.

you are a resilient little human
you’ll be fine.
go make your life awesome

note to self

let’s find our light in the dark

let’s play in the dark
let’s see what sparks can start a fire.
let’s see if the fireflies will join us
and if not, then let’s make our own light
let’s light up the world with our words.
let’s fight for the joy and hope.
let’s see if those hearts we buried long ago are still there.
they might be a little dirty
but dust them off
and they’ll pump again.
the human body is an amazing enigma
that we pretend to know
but really we are just hoping we get it.
I mean we should by now,
shouldn’t we?
it’s always the lessons learned that we never like to talk about.
remember when you learned you can’t fly
and you broke your ankle?
or the time you thought you were weightless
and face planted it instead?
watch those kids brush off their knees
and run around with torn clothes
with smiles on their faces.
let’s do that.
let’s continue to smile even with all the scraps and bruises
we’ve collected over the years.
let’s find our light in the dark

11.8.15

don’t park yourself there all your life

let’s renovate
and by that I mean let’s make a giant mess
cry and wallow on the floor at all the memories.
take hours, possibly weeks
to actually work up the courage to start somewhere
and clean it up.
don’t just throw it all away,
let’s think this through
and with this thinking will come pain and joy.
pain of what was that isn’t now
and joy of what was and isn’t now.

the insides and tunnels of our hearts and lives
are a scary, magical, terrifyingly beautiful place to be
but don’t park yourself there all your life.
you’ll need to get up and move
and see how others live.
go see and learn the childhoods that were not yours.
go see their scars and see what they mean.
it’ll take some time
and maybe some won’t ever explain it
or show you any of those internal bruises
but there might be a small handful,
or maybe only a few
or maybe only one
who will be brave enough to lay all their cards out on the table?
it will probably takes weeks, months, years
of building up trust and slowly giving a gift of thought to the other.
you’ll start peeling the layers away
and one might be a parfait and one might be an onion
but we’ve all got layers
and they can be ugly and beautiful all at the same time
be one of the brave ones and take a trip through your own tunnels
see the gunk and remember why it’s there.
then scrub away the bad and remember the lessons learned,
the skinned knees, and the belly-aching, falling off your chair laughter
that reminds you why we’re human
11.5.15