in the land of Oz, we think

the end of something,
the beginning of something new.
the woods seemed to want to claw and tear out my heart,
but maybe they were just trees swaying in the breeze.
maybe Thumbelina and the gnomes don’t have piercing eyes
but rather eyes wide in awe and hope.
maybe it’s all a perspective shift.
maybe it’s all in your head
as she screams into the wind.
maybe it’s all a step by step
rather then a running leap of faith across the Grand Canyon.
maybe we’ve all got the wrong idea
and it’s all just ideas, energies, and shared thoughts swirling around.
if you need my help and you don’t ask,
can I sense that?
if I stay silent but my thoughts are yelling,
does it appear on my face?
do we share souls or only moments?
if dichotomies exist to help us define,
can we speak to one another in a world of hundreds of languages?
can we boil this down to yes’s and no’s?
can we pull aside the curtain
and see the wizard of Oz pulling on our heart strings?

02.29.16

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…all of the best people are

Alice waits in her box,
turning no handles,
not eating that “eat me” piece of cake
or that “drink me” poison of unknowns.
she stays in her box
and contains her emotions in another box
in front of her,
like Russian dolls fitting perfectly within the other.
it is all neat and tidy,
like she was taught.
the boxes would remain stacked,
balancing in the shade.
she would hope the order
would keep it all together,
the control would amount to a smile
but it wasn’t until she met all the crazies in Wonderland
that she found her smile,
a few tears too
that flooded the oceans,
but the emotions flew out of the tiny box
like a bat out of hell.
the Queen taught her punishment and rules,
but the Mad Hatter taught her to stop
and smell the roses and speak to the mice.
the Cheshire Cat gave her chills
but reminded her of her own grin.
the Caterpillar questioned her spelling
but showed a whole new perspective.

too many creatures to learn them all in a day,
so she would stay underground
for just a little bit longer.
she’d catch the White Rabbit
one of these days,
but for now she’d fluff her skirts
sit down on the green grass
and breathe it all in.

no mock turtle soup today
but maybe tomorrow she’d dance with the daisies
or maybe they’d eviscerate her again,
who knows,
who cares.
let’s spend this moment in silent peace
with the worries blowing away in the breeze.

02.08.16

change of address

one here and one there
the colors dance in the wind
across your face
and under that overpass
it’s a new collection of lights
and it’s where you long to be
in the warmth and safe.
where you’re a kid and nothing touches you
and your biggest problem is being small

it’s not an all or nothing.
they lie but you don’t know it yet
these fantasies and magic tales
fill your mind
and you accept those unknowns without a doubt

no doubts
no uncertainties
except that everything is uncertain
and everything is full of possibility
it’s a moment that passes in time
you look back and you understand nothing
but hope for everything

it’s where bullies and tears get solved
with a little kiss and some neosporin

everything and nothing all at once
you come home and listen to the doors slam
but you don’t understand why
and you don’t question it either
whatever is, has already been
so it just makes sense
to your mind sitting in hormones and unknowns

but you can’t be Peter Pan forever
and this isn’t Neverland
but let’s just pretend we live there.
I’ll put in my change of address
and you can bring the ice cream.
I’ve got a good blanket and a spoon to share
I swear we can do this again
let’s go back and be small
it’s a beautiful place to be

1.12.16

snow in the dead of summer

if you’ve got a jet black heart
can I hold it?
if you’ve cried yourself to sleep for the past week
can I bring you pillow mints to make things sweeter?
if you need a friend, just ask
but be prepared for the truth
not covered in sugar
or politely veiled anything
I’ll give you what I’d want as a friend
I’d want to have a truthful,
honest to the core kind of person
with a pinch of “you can do it”

sure you can pick yourself up
but we all need a helping hand sometimes
the hardest part is accepting it
join the club
where we smile and grit our teeth
and try out best to hold your hand
but we might miss it 20,000 times

“just give me some time”
said the seedling to the sun.
he couldn’t look up unless he wanted to be blinded
so he kept his head down
until he grew enough leaves to shade himself when needed.
soon enough he would learn to be friends with the sun
but it would certainly take precious time

it all seemed to move in slow motion
with uncertainty at her side
she pulled her little red riding hood
and trudged through the snow in the dead of summer
it made no sense at all
but neither did much of what she saw in Wonderland.

breathe it in
process it later

ask questions now
understand–
wait.
just be.
find a path
make a path
ignore the path
find the dirt floor
say hello to the flowers,
pause,
sleep
and continue on

1.5.16

stuck in Neverland

he desperately wanted to grow up
but was stuck in Neverland
and didn’t know the way home
but was his home a home anymore
or was it just a place to hide
and get yelled at?
could that house be a home anymore
when he was outgrowing the walls
like something in Alice in Wonderland.

how was Alice doing anyways?
she fell down that rabbit hole a while ago
did she want to get home?
or was she happy in make believe?

then there were the other characters
they swarmed and shifted
and morphed into the new and the old

if a picture is worth a thousand words
how much is a thousand words worth?
what words are you bringing me?
truth or lies.
do you even know the difference anymore?
or are you just hiding everything anyways
and it’s all a story you’re making up on the fly.

do you think that earns you any points?
you may be clever and you’re proud of your wit
but is that anything when the lights go out?
can you hold yourself up
and make the fire when it’s needed
or is it all just smoke and mirrors?

get that film off of the lens
I’d rather see it clear and cry
then squint and keep trying to see through the fog

can you even say what you believe?
do you even know what you know?
is this something they’ve told you
and you’ve swallowed it?
can you create your own thoughts
or can you only just extrapolate
and aim to please?
can you create these from scratch?
can you see the mistakes you’ve made
and remember to say something about it?
are we trying to find yet another rug to brush them under?

if we speak out and up
does the ceiling move?
or is it stuck there forever?
do you like this box you’re in?

the familiar or the new
the comfortable or the unknown.
shot in the dark
or security.

context. I say.
context.
let it reign free
and see what the lion brings home at the end of the night.

12.16.15

the jabberwocky knows the way

let’s stay in Wonderland
let’s follow the rabbit down this hole
and see where it leads.
let’s try that mushroom
and see what happens.
I am ready for this adventure
as long as we can let it keep on
as long as we don’t crush the dream
let’s stay asleep for a little bit longer
let’s pretend this is our day to day.
I am ready for this journey,
as long as we don’t disturb the sleeping dragon.
as long as the waves keep crashing
and we stay here in the cocoon.
let’s not break this just yet.
let’s meet the mad hatter
and have some tea.
I’ll be the prince
and you can be the princess.
it’ll be just fine.
I swear.
I swear I have no idea what I’m doing
but I swear it’ll be okay.
let’s make a home here
in this crazy world of the underground unknowns
as long as we stay in the dark,
I’ll be happy
as long as we continue this game,
it’ll all be fine.
I swear.
I swear I’m not lying to myself.
I swear it’ll all be fine.
the jabberwocky knows the way,
let’s follow him
or meet up with the Cheshire cat,
this smirk will keep us company
and it’ll be the light that keeps us warm.
I swear it’ll be alright.
I’m happy here in wonderland.

11.22.15