if only in a story

This is a tale of two stories. Two completely different lives that eventually meet. One is of Katie and the other Josh.


Katie was someone you instantly fell in love with. Since the beginning of her time on this planet everyone just cooed over her. She was a lovely individual and because of this she had quite the optimistic rose-colored glasses on. She believed there was good in everyone. She had a heart that could hold anyone’s sorrows and yet she remained upbeat.

She was an amazing individual. This, however, did not keep heartache or pain from seeping into her life. But her perspective was always sunny and she could find the silver lining to any rain cloud. This talent, also brought many people to her. And she also confused many of them because of this odd ability to withstand the pains in life. Some girls hated her because she oozed happiness and confidence. Boys flocked to her because of this quality. It was a complicated and very full life that she lead.

Josh was born on the other side of the tracks, so to speak. He was not the evil to Katie’s good. But he did not believe there was much good in this world. He saw everything with a gray tint to it and took everything with a grain of salt. He had much heartache but he wore it on his shoulder as a badge of honor that really just brought him down. But it made him a very interesting and artistic individual. He took these pains and turned them into imaginary tales as a young boy and then lyrics as he grew up. He was able to understand the melody and hearts that spilled into every song. The music seemed to understand him.

It was one of the few relationships he cherished that lasted many many moons. This is not to say that his childhood was a disaster or he was a beaten orphan. He had a normal childhood, just like any other kid growing up in suburbia in Chicago. But he was a child that kept to himself. He was drawn to faults and mysteries.

These two beings of opposites would not meet each other for many many years. But their friendship and love story would be the tale that people would talk about for years to come. It would be a tale that could carry through the ages. Or so they thought. Their worlds collided and with it came a flood of passion and emotions.

This is their story.

chapter 1 – Katie

With the numerous hordes of people that swarmed in and out of Katie’s life, she was never alone for long. There, of course, were many suitors. She went from one relationship to then next. It was all she ever knew. She was ignorant to any other type of life, which is why her closest friends tended to be the suitor she was dating at the time.

Girls like to share secrets and to share each other’s pains. But since so many loved Katie, girls were jealous of the attention she got or simply did not understand her constant upbeat attitude. She was blissfully ignorant of these nuances and continued on the life she knew for the longest time. She just assumed not everyone had a million best friends who were girls. Her life was her own and all she knew.

With the suitors came the idea that she was very pretty and it was a good thing. It wasn’t a compliment, it was a fact. A fact that benefited her very much so in life. The pretty people were easily respected and easily noticed. With the spotlight, she did not become cruel or get a big ego. Surprisingly she was still a kind-hearted soul with all this love surrounding her. This stage gave her the push to do well in school and to work hard. She had an audience after all and she did not want to disappoint them.

She had success in school as well. She put her best foot forward and with such encouragement and pressure she pushed herself to be the best. She wasn’t excellent in every class, of course not. But she especially excelled in music and other artistic pursuits. She was in love with the literal stage and tried her best to get any role possible. She also was completely fine with being in the choir, even in the back, as long as she was a part of it. She loved the joy that came from being on that stage and sought it at all costs.

Of course, these loves were not considered to be “serious” career paths and so scrutiny from her parents appeared to muck up her passions. But she did not fret. She was passionate and would not let her loves go. This was only high school, after all. She continued on her blissful journey for many years.

It wasn’t until she was 24 when she realized that something maybe was missing. There couldn’t be happy endings for all and Prince Charmings did not really exist. She took a hard fall around this time and the beautiful idea of life was shattered. But her heart would not fail her now. She would try her best to reshape the world she thought she understood.

After so many setbacks and failed relationships she hit this giant wall that she felt as if she could not climb. She did not seem to understand life at all. The suitors still loved her and her few close best girl friends. But she was slightly unhappy underneath it all. With all this love and bliss came quite a pedestal built for her. She simply believed that this was the view that everyone had, but with the climb came the fall. This fall was painful and quite shocking. She mentally had to regroup from everything she thought she knew.

This is when she met Josh.

chapter 2 – Josh

Josh hid in closets in his mind. He was a silent fly on the wall that observed everything. He was not a creepy boy but a curious one. He was very much on the outside of things, figuratively and literally. He was someone who thought a lot but didn’t say much aloud. This did not go over so well with the girls in high school. But he had known for a long time that he was not like others. It was a challenging time, but he came to accept it as true rather than a bad thing.

From his observations, he was able to understand the human race much more intimately than any other 12 year olds.  As he continued in his life, he continued his ‘normal’ behaviors. He was widely aware that his behavior was not well accepted but what he did not know is that all this observing gave him a super power. He understood many more things about human behavior and social interactions that he could identify himself.

This meant that he was relentlessly teased regardless of his super power. It felt like a bad thing at the time but later in life he would become aware of this gem he had. But of course in the moment he couldn’t see the good past the lunch hour. After all, we never see much more than what is two feet in front of us in life.

Fast forward many years, when he was 27. An odd and another tumultuous decade of his life. He thought that if he made it through high school things would turn around. But he soon realized that there are always obstacles, which part of him knew this already. He was trying to be positive and all that shit. But then he was smacked in the face with reality and joined his old cynical self as he grew up.

Not everything was hard for Josh; his life was not crushingly difficult. But there were definitely hurdles and hoops he learned to navigate. With such dark skies he assumed would be coming, he did not see Katie.

That is a lie. He saw Katie, everyone saw Katie but she was just another one in the crowd of people he was observing. She was just another untouchable.

chapter 4 – love collides

The love they had for only a brief moment in time was a love that enveloped their entire beings. A hardy and well-crafted love that took over what they knew. All assumptions were thrown out and only love filled the spaces.

The day was a cold, brisk, and dusky day in October. The winds were blowing and the leaves were being ripped from their holding place on the trees and bushes. The seasons were changing, in more ways then one.

This was the day Josh watched her walk around the space in front of him. It was a busy street and her presence was contained to her own body. She was not living outside her own bodily space because other persons were occupying that space. But he notice how confined she look and unnatural that was. He was intrigued by this lack of normalcy. He watched her walk and that was that.

chapter 5

The way they fell in love is not important. It is a tale like many others with a few variations just like any other story. But what is important is that there was love. The tale of two hearts went on for many years, but not forever. Eventually the story came to an end and the two went down two separate paths. The point, however, is that it happened.

The point, ladies and gentlemen, is that for however long it was a love story. It will always be a story of love in their lives. No matter what else happens that tale will forever have occurred. The memories may fade but that does not mean it never happened.

Their love will continue, if only in a story.







For all you boys that are desperately trying to be men but are still not sure how to get there (it doesn’t matter your age). We applaud your efforts but ask that you stop trying so damn hard and use your brain instead. Maybe even your brain is telling you one thing, your heart another, and your d*** another. We get it. It’s confusing to be a “man” in this 21st century world where the women are free spirits and take care of themselves. Where and when are you needed? Do these women even need a knight in shining armor? When do you make your move? Etcetera.

We understand that you are making strides and you can wear pink now (if you want). You can make the money, bring home the bacon, cook it, and feed your family. It’s great. We’ve all done so much and made so much progress.

There’s just one catch.
You are still chicken shit.

It happens. We are all a little scared at times. We are all humans. That’s our binding connection that cannot be broken. We break apart when we try to be something we are not.

I understand that you’re not sure what to do or how to ask.
But here’s the kicker: don’t be chicken shit and wait until you’re inebriated, intoxicated, or heavily sedated to make a move or tell her you like or love her.

Rejection sucks. Men (or boys) experience this way more (romantically) then girls do because they are the ones expected to make the move and take the initiative. But this is the 21st century and some girls ask the guys out. So we understand at least a fraction of it. We also understand rejection in many other arenas (hair, make-up, body image, the list goes on).

Rejection is a b****. There is no way around it. But if you wait until your “guard” is down because of some substance, this is not impressive. You have now insulted her. You have now said that she is not worth growing a pair, swallowing your pride, and asking her sober. You have now told her that she is not worth much since you only had to throw back a few to talk to her.

If you want to be impressive (and get the damn girl) then be brave and be sober when you confess your love to her.

Thank you for your time.